Outfit: Yellow & Embroidery

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Firstly I wanted to share my happy and bright outfit with you. In recent times I’ve come to love yellow despite many years of not wearing it previously. I was really missing out because I absolutely adore yellow and now I’m slowly building up a collection of yellow pieces. I’ve had this cardigan for awhile and it instantly adds so much to a look. I love the beads, detailing and sequin buttons. Also following on from the yellow theme is this coat I received courtesy of Sheinside. This is a website I’ve come across recently; they have some lovely pieces and are definitely worth checking out. A yellow coat is an item I’ve wanted from ages so it was an obvious choice for me. I love the little bow and the collarless design seems very modern. I like the length of it against my floral skirt. This skirt has been one of my favourites for so many years. Not only do I adore the colourful floral design, I think the embroidered detailing is a special feature. It’s another treasure which my mother in law bought me back in the days I miss so much. My shoes deserve a mention since they are my latest bargain. Can you believe I purchased these from Kmart for only $15. I love them so much that I’m tempted to buy many pairs and stock them up so I can wear these shoes for ever. I actually like the shoes in Kmart and Target, if you’re there at the right time you can undoubtedly find bargains.

My blog makes me feel like I’m living a lie. The life I present here with the endless supply of clothes, bright colours, pretty pieces, kitty cats and unicorns is so different to how I feel in reality. I am the most depressed, miserable, unhappy and worthless person in the world. I try not to make my blog about that my hopelessness but occasionally I just can’t stand being so fake. You are all so nice to me by complimenting my outfits and saying I’m sweet and kind (your friendship has saved me many times) but I doubt you’d like me in real life. I’ve always found it hard to make friends and initiate conversations but now it’s becoming worse. My depression has ruined all my relationships; I’m hard to be around because I’m always sad, I feel like a burden no one understands me and I’m taken my anger out on others more times than I like to remember. I feel alone and unwanted. I feel like a shadow of my former self and powerless to change. I am so horrendously unhappy. It’s a struggle to get out of bed on the weekend to take these pictures. In the past I’ve written about some of my experiences with depression and anxiety; I even mentioned how work gave me a purpose and changed my life immensely. All of that means nothing now and I feel stupid for saying it. My depression returned this year and to an absolutely unprecedented level; the pain and anger I feel towards the world is indescribable. Each day is a struggle and I feel so hopeless. I’d be here forever if I were to explain it all. I’ve tried so many times to make changes and have a fresh start but it never works. I’m exhausted and don’t have the strength. I guarantee that tomorrow I’ll feel just the same, eternal suffering, forever in pain. People ask me if I’ve tried certain things to improve my situation or get help. I assure you I’ve tried everything imaginable. There’s no happy ending for me but when others believe in me more than I do myself, it provides a little hope.

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Forever New Floral Embroidery Skirt
Forever New ‘From Paris with Love Bag’
Alannah Hill Til It Shines Cardigan
Girl Xpress Floral Top
Girl Xpress Flats
Yellow Bowknot Front H-Line Simple Wool Blend Coat c/o Sheinside

Linking to: What I Wore Wednesday, More Pieces of Me, On the Daily Express, Fashion Item Friday

59 thoughts on “Outfit: Yellow & Embroidery

  1. My dearest Imogen… I felt what you felt when I lost my David as my best friend… the depression I went into was so insanely sad… I cried ALL the time… I smiled at nothing… I was on the edge EVERY single minute.

    I wrote what I felt but I tried to make it better when it wasn't. Thankfully my doctor saw me monthly and didn't give up on me. I'm feeling somewhat better… not perfect but better.

    If you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to email me at tweety_pie_36@hotmail.com …. I can listen without ever judging.

    xox ♥

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  2. Hi Imogen,
    I might have not suffered from depression, but for sure there are times and days I feel so sad and down and worthless. But I always try to look for something to make me happy, like for exaple… going back to Germany, and being able to be back there makes me happy. I know it's probably not that easy for you, but I'm sure there's something worth being happy for.

    You can also contact me anytime you want at contact@theankallistyle.com

    Lu |
    There's a giveaway at The Ankalli Style

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  3. Whoa, honey. <3

    I have never had depression, but the love of my life had it when he was a teenager and tried to end his life once. After therapy, medicine, and support, he finds it much easier to handle now. So while I don't know what you're going through, I can tell you that it does get better, you just have to know what steps you need to make it so. I probably sound like an idiot, cause I'm sure you have tried this stuff before, but have you considered therapy? Talking to your doctor about how you feel?

    There is light at the end of the tunnel, lovely, sometimes you just have to move rock to get it it. <3

    love,
    a

    http://www.missdecaf.blogspot.com

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  4. Imogen, given the amazing comments above, you are not alone! You have the amazing blogging community who would hate if something happened to you. I am not sure if you are, but please do consider consulting a doctor or a therapist. If you do need to talk, feel free to email me at oliviamonopoli@gmail.com. I'd be happy to be there for you:)
    xo Olivia

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  5. I exactly know how it feels. I wont write tons of Words to describe how I am With you but I am.
    Thing is ; you should know that you have a powerful heart . And if people dont réalize that you are not alway happy Well They dont understand that this dépression is because of your intelligent heart and just let go. Its the most difficult part I believe.
    I do hope you Will succeed one Day.

    Sending you lots of Love and by the Way this skirt is really cute 🙂
    Xxx
    Lorna
    http://lornasharp.blogspot.com

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  6. I suffered and was medicated on depression for quite some time in my teens/early twenties. I managed to go off anti depressants when I was dealing with a siberian winter which was cold and bleak enough to make my feels pale in comparison. Since then I've been back on meds once to get me through a very hard segment of my life, and in all honestly, I will probably turn to them again in the future at some point.
    Your feels and thoughts of sadness are just as valid as those of happiness, and often times if you talk about them (or write, or sketch) you may feel better.
    I don't think you are 'living a lie' with your blog dear imogen as you are showing us who you are, and that can be unicorns and cats and a wardrobe to make anyone envious, and it can also be whatever emotions and feelings you want to express – it's yours to do whatever you want with, and I'm sure most of your followers will love you regardless. 🙂 I know I will.

    I'm giving you a big hug from Melbourne and I KNOW you are a good and lovely person with a shiny brain an dazzling heart.

    Big Bear hugs!
    Jacqui

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  7. OMG. I just can't believe the cheerful girl with the sweetest colorful outfits and the genuine smile feels so dark inside…
    I sure hope you can seek professional help. I can't imagine what life would feel like when one feels that bad about themselves and everything. I am so sorry.

    We just ready a book about a woman going to through menopause and refused hormones and went to the dark side. It just made me feel so scared cause I couldn't handle my life if I didn't have the energy and upbeat feeling inside.

    Please please seek some help and don't stop talking about it. May be that would help.

    AND I think you are so brave to share it with us all.
    Daphne.

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  8. Oh my dear!! Sometimes the sweetest people feel very dark inside…I think it's because we're so close to that line of sweet and sad. On my blog I am very positive and happy, but I assure you I can be my own worst enemy and feel so down at the blink of an eye and not feel worth anything. It can be a cycle and sometimes I feel so tired of it. It can be hard to see the sunlight from the darkness, but just by opening up to tell us how you really feel is a great step in all of this for you. We can't always be happy or sweet all the time, I don't think we're meant to be that way, we have other feelings that we need to express in a healthy manner and get it out. You are noth worthless and I know it's not easy to accept that, but you have purpose. Just by telling how you feel, you may have connected with someone who feels the same. Lately I have felt like giving up everything, I feel tired…but I'm so stubborn that I won't let myself give up. The saddness wants to sink in, but somehow I have to fight it off. Maybe go and speak to someone and let it out. Might help. I do hope you will see what we see and how great you are. Everyone can be grumpy or down or negative sometimes, it is human, but don't beat yourself up for it!! Embrace it and embrace the happier sides too!! Hugs and loves to you Xxx

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  9. Firstly I want to say that girl I am with you, mail me , chat with me or connect with me in any social media, I am always there to support u , I know how Matabele life feels when we are di pressed and unhappy , have been in that situation of years and I know how sometimes one feels he us unwanted
    Don't know what's the exact problem but from my experience I can say that when your are going through the most tough time , just stay calm as the happy time is around the corner
    Just like sun rises just after the most darkest part of night
    Looks like u miss ur mum in law a lot, if I am not wrong you spoke about her in another post as well.
    Blogging is such a wonderful thing , one can feel the love here
    About the outfit, I love it and feel the same about yellow.. Was not wearing it for ages but not I am loving the color
    Your cardi is so cute
    Will keep you in my prayers and I am sure everything will get better very soon
    Keep in touch
    http://www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com
    http://www.indianbeautydiary.com

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  10. Oh no! Don't feel that way. You are so smart, talented and pretty. You can get over this with the right help. Life can get so overwhelming at times. It can make you feel hopeless. People can be mean. Situations can go to the pits. It's hard. Someone can help you. Explain what you're feeling to your doctor and he will lead you in the right direction. We're all behind you. Take care of you. Take some time from blogging temporarily. Work on you. Hugs

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  11. Maybe it doesn't seem that way but depression affects many people and most of them try to hide it behind smiles which is not always the best way. However, you shouldn't feel like you're living a lie because you're posting fabulous and bright outfits. On the contary you should feel pride because you're able to do something positive even when things are hard for you. Such details can make a lot of difference. I understand what you mean when you said that you barely have energy to take these photos at weekends…but it if makes you happy even in some small way you should not give it up. Depression is when we lose interest even in things we like and honestly can relate to how you feel because I've felt the same. Maybe people have…being depressed is more serious than just feeling down and you shouldn't judge yourself too harshly. Sometimes it helps to talk about it and at other times there are just things we have to work out with ourselves.

    Try not to lose hope…sometimes things have a way of working themselves out. Believe me, it makes a difference that you've tried things, even if they haven't worked out. You don't have to follow every advice that someone gives you, but you mustn't lose hope. People believe in you for a reason.

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  12. Hi Imogen, I am glad that you have this blog to bring something positive and amazing to the world with your beauty, inside and out. Hang in there, I know some days it can be harder than others but you have the love and support of many good people. Your sunshine yellow cardigan is so pretty. Love the dress.

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  13. I'm so sorry you are depressed. I wish there was something I could say to help you find your happiness, but at least know that you are not alone and that you have friends who want the best for you.

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  14. You look absolutely lovely, the cardigan is flawless!

    I won't pretend I know what it feels like or that I even know people who have seriously been through depression, and I suppose you have tried many possible treatments… but medicine and psychology keep on progressing so you should definitely keep your hopes up, there must be something that can help you, sooner or later!

    The way you usually blog is not a lie as long as you don't feel you're forced to be like this. I mean, I suppose many of us don't write about sad or depressing things simply because it's not what we want to share with the world – so if you positively want to share mainly the happy and dreamy things, what's wrong with that? It can help you feel like you have certainly had also fun, success, and positive feelings whenever you feel down.

    Lastly, I think your friends may become discouraged when you get depressed and there's no way to make you feel better that they can see. Maybe just let them know it's OK if they cannot solve your situation or they cannot really say or do anything. I think if you eplain they on't have to feel responsible, they won't be so scared?

    Anyways, I hope you will somehow feel better as soon as possible an find a way to combat your depression, it's amazing you're trying to fight with it to begin with!

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  15. Oh, Imogen! (((((hugs)))))
    You've gotten some great advice and offer from what I can see in the comments above. It's hard to say “cheer up” not knowing how it's like to be in your shoes. Just know what even in the blogging world, you can find some good people to rely on. 🙂
    XOXO

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  16. Imogen, as a fellow sufferer of depression I can confidently tell you that it does get better. I lost all my friendships through depression and anxiety and I thought that would be it forever. But through blogging I have found confidence in myself and that I am worth something, as are you.

    You need some form of treatment and what worked really well for me was Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It makes you realise none of what is happening to you is your fault, and there are reasons why you feel as you do. Never bottle up all those feelings, if you need to vent, just do it. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to who understands.

    You are a beautiful person inside and out, and you deserve to be happy – I'm not going to say coping with depression is easy because it is not. But, you will feel such a sense of achievement when you reach each milestone.

    Gems x

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  17. Boredom causes the mind to over think. So go spend time outdoors as much as possible, take up some sports, go to the gym and take up dance classes, listen to you favourite songs, sing on top of your lungs and you will feel better. People are less depressed and happier when kept busy. Hope that helps!! Btw, you are a beautiful girl with a great sense of style, keep it up and we're all here for you. Keep in touch lovely!! xo

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  18. I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle with depression. I have bad anxiety and that really gets me down sometimes so I know how hard it is to have those days where you just don't want to get out of bed. I hope you find a way to come through this, which I'm sure you will. You are always so beautiful in your posts and I'm sure that's not all fake, that happy smiley person is in there somewhere, it might just take a little while to find her again 🙂 xx

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  19. Thanks so much for sharing a bit of your personal life here; there is this saying that “problems shared is problem solved” and I believe it works.

    In my opinion, I would suggest you join a Christian group. A church is a place where you can never be judged (a good church is not supposed to) and then you can meet some real friends there who can give you all the support you need.

    Secondly, since writing helps; continue to write and share your story along with sharing your beautiful outfits. You inspire people with your creativity/blog so do not stop doing that.

    This beautiful yellow cardigan and coat with the sweetly embellished skirt is so cute and such a happy outfit.

    Thanks so much for sharing and God bless.

    Have a great weekend.

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  20. First of all I would like to say that you look very beautiful in this outfit- yellow is a color that looks very pretty on you! And usually when I am down or in a funk I tend to wear yellow as it is such a happy color! 🙂

    Though, of course, I understand that wearing yellow color in your outfits won't change how you feel, nor the situation you are in!
    I have never suffered from depression and I surely don't know how you feel or how to help you! But i think that writing down your feelings and being tru to yourself , your blog and your readers can definitely help in a way.
    I am sending you tons of love and hugs from Latvia sweetheart! Hang in there! 🙂

    http://www.callmemaddie.com

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  21. Dear Imogen, I do hope that you will be much better soon–What can help is having support of family and friends that you can trust around that will be there when you need it the most. We all have a purpose in life and you certainly do. Faith and hope will never disappoint, so hang in there dear.
    xx (hugs) /Madison

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  22. This outfit is gorgeous! I especially love the dress. I'm sorry you're feeling so unhappy, but I'm glad you can share your problems on your blog, I hope that's comforting. I don't think your blog is a lie at all, it's a way of expressing your creativity, which you clearly have a lot of. I also struggle with similar issues, have you tried asking the doctor for CBT? I've heard it works wonders as it changes how you thinks about things, so especially works with anxiety.

    Another thing I find that helps when I feel bad is to remind that the way you feel about a situation is your mind confusing how to react to things, when the reality is much different. I hope you feel better soon 🙂 xx

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  23. Wow. Going through a similar thing at work right now – I'm inches away from quitting. It was such a fantastic job for such a long time but over the past year and a half things have gone majorly downhill there.

    I've been through depression several times in my life – to the point where I could not manage to shower or get out of bed. It does get better. Counselling, medication, music and setting goals were the things that helped me the most.

    We are lucky in Australia because your GP can create a mental health plan and you can get up to 10 sessions of counselling with a psychologist for free. Please, ask your GP about creating a mental health plan for you.

    I leave you with this story from The West Wing – Leo said this to Josh.

    “This guy's walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out.
    “A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, 'Hey you. Can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on.
    “Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, 'Father, I'm down in this hole can you help me out?' The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on
    “Then a friend walks by, 'Hey, Joe, it's me can you help me out?' And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, 'Are you stupid? Now we're both down here.' The friend says, 'Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.'”

    If you need more help getting out or just want someone to chat to.. I have a contact page on my blog. If you need a south coast of NSW holiday, I have a spare room. Just contact me and let me know. 🙂

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