I’ve mentioned a couple of times before that my outfits are usually fairly well planned; it is a rare occassion when I quickly put together random items and everything just seems to fall into place. However, this outfit was an exception. As I explained here, this dress is my go to outfit when I don’t know what to wear. On Tuesday I experienced an ‘I have nothing to wear day’.’ Since it was very cold outside I decided to add my red jumper (yes, another outfit involving red) since it is wool and is perfect for such conditions. Then I thought I’d wear my small blue hair flower as a change from the larger traditional white bow that I usually wear. I wasn’t sure whether this all matched and it seemed like a fairly average outfit at that point. It wasn’t until I added the shoes that everything came together. I love the end result; it is probably one of my better outfits. I haven’t worn these shoes in awhile and I was surprised by the perfect colour match between the shoes and the hair flower.
I hope you are all having an enjoyable week. Unfortunately I am sick; my throat and head hurt very much. I always seem to be unwell at some point during the winter holidays. It is very frustrating. Lets just hope it won’t be as bad as last year. As a result I’ve had a very relaxing week of catching up on television (particularly Offspring which is the best TV show ever!) and watching the tennis. My ridiculous holiday sleeping patterns fit in well with the schedule of Wimbledon; I am always awake at 3 or 4am to watch the important matches these days. However, the rain delays are very annoying; please get some better weather!!!
I am starting to become extremely bored these holidays. Of course it is better than being at university so I shouldn’t really complain but I haven’t experienced this since I was in high school. I usually have more than enough interesting activities planned to occupy myself during the holidays. As usual the lengthy free time has caused me to think deeply about my life. Its just so stupid how the best times of my life usually turn out to be so depressing; I always worry about issues that I don’t even have the time to think about during the university semester. This time I am so annoyed at myself for my spending habits over the last few years. I had so many opportunities to save money and I wasted it by purchasing a ridiculous amount of clothes, going out for lunch and dinner too frequently and generally being careless with money. Last year I earned double the weekly income that I do now and I spent so much of it on Modcloth. I love my clothes but I should have been more sensisble. I always justified my decisions based on the fact that university was depressing and stressful so I should buy a treat to make myself feel better. Now I realise that these were just excuses that most certainly fail to justify my actions. Also, I am so annoyed with myself for failing to get a job over the last few years. The only job I’ve ever had is working at my mother in law’s company and for so many of my years at university I didn’t work at all; I feel like such a loser. All those years of lost income are so stupid and I have no experienced; this year when I’ve actually tried to get a job I’ve had no success. I always used the excuse that I was a law student and didn’t need a job because everything would work out once I had a degree. But almost everyone else in my degree has a job so that can hardly be an acceptable justification.
The reason why it affects me so much at the moment is because Rydog and I need to get our own place at the end of the year since we are getting married. We are not in a position to buy a unit but I believe we would be if I had been more sensible. All it would have taken is for me to have some constant employment in the past. I feel terrible that I let myself down. The rental market in the suburb I want to live in is getting more expensive all the time. Plus renting with a cat is next to impossible; I’m getting rejections left right and centre when I mention Juliette. (It really is very sad because I see her as my child and so much more than a pet!). It’s so stressful; I’m terrified that it will get to the end of the year and I will have no where suitable to go. At least the realities of life have forced me to commit to my spending ban; even the thought of buying new clothes right now makes me feel very guilty. So many people keep telling me to get over my past mistakes and deal with the current situation. I totally understand that I can’t change the past but it is still hard. Moving on and feeling better is easier said than done. It takes time to forgive myself. It’s interesting because I felt really low before coming on my blog tonight. But now I’ve spent some time telling you about my problems I feel much better. The thought of spending the night reading other blogs and engaging in the online world has the same impact.
In other news, my wedding shoes arrived in the mail this week. It was very exciting and I am so happy with them. The shoes are so sparkly and absolutely incredible. I will show them to you in my next post.
Alannah Hill She Kissed Everyone Jumper
Forever New Fan Clutch
Lovisa Hair Flower